Through My Eyes

Maybe it's your eyes 

Or maybe it's how I wish I could trace my lips down that perfect jawline 

Maybe it's your smile that makes my heart speed up a little more 

Maybe it's your humor and the way you put joy in my heart

Maybe it's your apologies when you've done nothing wrong 

Maybe it's the way I feel as if I could write you a thousand songs 

Something about you is so enticing 

I'm drawn to you like the current of electricity 

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes because if you could you would envision the beauty I see and never again wonder about your adequacy 

Girls

I believe I first fell in love with girls when they saved me.

They loved me when I was incapable of loving myself.

They loved me when I would have rather been 6 feet under than above.

Girls cared for me. Cherished me. Saw my beauty.

Few girls discovered the cuts on my body. 

They saw my scars, saw my flaws, and they stayed. 

I remember you saw the sadness in my eyes and to keep me from carving a picture into my skin you would hold my hand. 

I remember the way your body felt around mine when we fell asleep at night.

I remember the way my heart fluttered for you as you gave me life. 

I remember falling for you without even realizing it 

I believe I really fell in love with girls because they loved me, were there for me, and comforted me at my darkest

Forced writing is meaningless. I have become a generic writer just typing out regurgitated words of others. My writing is worthless when it is not raw and true. I am attempting to be something I am not. This is not my heart and soul. My head is spinning but nothing is coming out. If I used to be able to write I cannot anymore for my heart is full but my pen has run dry.

True joy is found only in doing God's will for your life.

Poetry has seemed to curl up and die inside of me. When a part of me was broken it was so simple to "put words together beautifully" and now that life is going well it seems as if poetry has disappeared, as if the words no longer flow from my fingertips. I have never been a good writer, maybe I have never been a writer at all. My writing is average but it will never bring tears to one's eyes or change a part of their lives. I desire to so swiftly and gracefully string words into beautiful phrases but its inadequacy is quite haunting. Music is in my veins, it flows through every fiber of my being but does writing even hold a candle to it? Will I ever write something meaningful? Writing is relief. Writing is escape. But is my writing impactful? I don't believe it is so maybe I should just put my pen down for good. I am not a writer. Some are born with the curse/blessing of having to get words out and their words move in the hearts of others and cause tears to well up in the eyes of people but my writing, all my writing is is a sad joke compared to true writers. So maybe it is finally time to cap my pen and never pick it up again.

Raging Seas

Many people prefer a calm ocean

I prefer raging waves

Walking with Christ is like a violent ocean 

It is rocky and rough but is also beautiful

We are tossed around and many times sink under but Christ always pulls us up just in time 

His love is strong like the waves crashing around us and it covers us completely 

I don't dance but babe I would dance all night with you.
I don't dress up very often but I'd put on my finest attire to go out to simply see the smile on your face and no matter how I look I'd still just glimmer while you shine like a diamond hit by a ray of sun.
I may not like Chinese but I'd eat it every night if it meant eating by your side.
I don't watch scary movies but I would watch them all the time if I got the pleasure of holding your hand.
You see you have me doing things I would never do. You have me smiling like I never have before.
I don't know how our story will end but I know you are meant to be in mine in some way, shape, or form.